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“Crusader Security (UK) Ltd”, Greenwich: fancy shield
“Crusader Security (UK) Ltd” burglar alarm, Greenwich • Crusaders are slightly at a tangent from knights, as not all crusaders were noble horsemen – the crusades were like a travelling township, with...
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“Crusader Alarms”, Tower Hamlets: noble mein
“Crusader Alarms” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • Again, I think we can assume that this fellow’s a knight . Security firms wouldn’t settle for any old hoi polloi on their sounders, and he’s wearing a...
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“Crusader Alarms”, Lambeth: night knight
“Crusader Alarms Security System” burglar alarm, Lambeth • This has the same cheese grater shape as yesterday (see side view, below), but I’m guessing this is the older iteration, partly because it’s...
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“Britannia”, Westminster: Roman invader
“Britannia” burglar alarm, City of Westminster • You’d think invasion was a bad subject for burglar alarms – let alone for a country – but both Britain and security firms seem to revel in our...
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“Corinium Security”, Cirencester: Mr Grumpy
“Corinium Security Cirencester” burglar alarm, Cirencester • Just as elderly but somewhat less DIY than yesterday’s Corinium sounder, this features a stern Roman legionary protecting the premises. In...
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Nameless Roman soldier alarm, Sheffield: stabby
Nameless burglar alarm with Roman soldier, Sheffield • This is the most violent sounder image I have: an anonymous Roman legionary unashamedly going about a ferocious felon-stabbing – or possibly...
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“Century Alarms”, Derby: dapper centurion
“Century Alarms” burglar alarm, Derby • This dapper centurion is a lot calmer than yesterday’s stabby specimen. At least I’m assuming he’s a centurion (it’s a play on the name Century, geddit?) –...
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“Citadel”, Southwark: ghostly guardian
“Citadel Security Systems” burglar alarm, Southwark • The ghostly guardian on this is so worn out he looks like a marauding mummy or a giant robot (reproduced small), but the name Citadel suggests...
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“MG Systems”, Glasgow: possibly a Pict
“MG Systems” burglar alarm, Glasgow • It may be slightly contentious to lump this Scottish sounder in under Roman Britain, as the Romans famously never colonised Caledonia – partly because they...
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“Sussex Alarms”, Brighton: superior helmet
“Sussex Alarms” burglar alarm, Brighton • Not, as it may appear, Darth Vader, but a Roman soldier in his finely-crafted helmet.Sussex was positively crawling with Romans in olden days, their metal...
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“Defender”, Sheffield: invader, actually
“Defender” burglar alarm, Sheffield • Although small, this logo definitely portrays a Roman soldier – see the close-up, below. Bit of a weird concept for illustrating the firm’s name though, seeing as...
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“Aztec Solutions”, Bristol: surely a Roman?
“Aztec Solutions” burglar alarm, Bristol • The logo says “Aztec Securities” (which, if Aztec practices were actually followed, would involve ritually ripping out the still-beating hearts of felons),...
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“Hadleigh Security”, Tower Hamlets: crane and cockles
“Hadleigh Security” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • Now we merge from shields into heraldry, where the shield is just part of an overall coat of arms, albeit probably a made-up one. This one has what...
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“Westminster”, Chelsea: wrong borough
“Westminster Security Systems Ltd” burglar alarm, Kensington and Chelsea • Oi! You’re in the wrong borough! Even looking at the close-up (below), I can’t quite work out what’s going on here – two...
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“Ambassador”, Old Coulsdon: dog-head
“Ambassador” burglar alarm, Old Coulsdon • More cockles, and a dog prancing on someone’s head. Loads of these heraldic alarm shields have helmets on top, and this is a bit like Hadleigh – maybe they...
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“New Century Security”, Bristol: double whammy
“New Century Security” burglar alarm, Bristol • This is a double whammy: a shield-within-shield logo. And not just that, but a gauntlet clutching a lightning bolt, a rampant lion, a window at night (I...
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“Bristol & West Security”, Bristol: criminal tattoo
“Bristol & West Security” burglar alarm, Bristol • The name looks and sounds as if it’s a building society (the old fashioned non-hedge fund sort) – so maybe it was. Under Photoshop enhancement,...
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“Sentry Alarms”, Hull: furry hat
“Sentry Alarms Limited” burglar alarm, Kingston upon Hull • It’s not just the Queen who’s guarded by blokes in giant furry hats – they’re very popular on burglar alarms, as we shall see. The one above...
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“Assure”, Glasgow: foot guard
“Assure” burglar alarm, Glasgow • The correct name for these guys is Royal Foot Guards, and the Her Maj has four in front of Buck House whenever she’s in residence (two when she’s not). This one’s...
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“AllguarDelta Security”, Derby: dead bear
“AllguarDelta Security” burglar alarm, Derby • Those bearskin hats actually are made of brown bear, all the way from Canada. Apparently the Army has tried to find a synthetic substitute, without any...
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